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Do you love your body?

Martyna, 26 september 2019
Do you love your body?

What is your relationship with your body?

How do you feel when you look at its reflection in the mirror?

What do you think about it?

How do you speak about it?

Do you let it exist just the way it is?

Do you give it acceptance, gratitude, and understanding?

Do you let it shine its natural beauty?

I need to tell you, that more than 2 years ago I used to hate my body. I was constantly pointing out its imperfections. I was focusing on its flaws. I was shaming myself. I could not accept a compliment. I was waiting and asking about negative comments. I kept saying that I have a big belly, fat ass and a lot of cellulite. And I was saying that with contempt for myself and my body. I was torturing myself with all the exercises and diets that were not for me. Anything, just to start loving my reflection in the mirror. To show off that I am finally worthy because I have a slim body. But you know what? When I eventually "managed" to lose weight, in fact as a result of an illness that trapped me in bed and brought my diet down to fluids, I still didn't feel okay with myself. I kept looking for some confirmation that my body is just wrong.

This story is about a lack of love for myself. Lack of gratitude for this beautiful temple that went through all these phases with me, this whole period of terrible hatred for myself. And it was still there, keeping me alive in this reality, although I kept sabotaging it and wanted to have a different, better temple.

One day something suddenly burst. Stepping out from the shower I looked at my reflection. For the first time, I saw my whole, true self. My life journey, which is painted so beautifully on my body. I saw a scar above my pussy, through which my daughter came into this world for the first time. I also saw Yoni herself, which brought my daughter to this world for the second time. I saw scars, birthmarks and other strange marks telling about my experiences. I saw a sexy ass and powerful thighs and hips that gave me strength in moments of weakness. I saw cellulite that covers them and what story it tells about my ancestors. I felt gratitude that I can carry these genes inside me. I saw a bloated belly saying that there is a lot of air in my body. A friend of mine recently told me that according to a tribe in Zimbabwe, the air in the body means that the spirit is strong and alive (I hope I didn't twist anything ;). Generally speaking, the message was that it is powerful). I saw my saggy breasts that have always hated bras. At that moment they were feeding my daughter for a few months already. I felt great gratitude for them. I finally saw their beauty. I also saw my face, my eyes, lips, nose, and cheeks. I thanked them for showing my emotions so beautifully. I just saw my whole self in my beautiful, wonderful and unique temple. For the first time in my life, I looked at myself with love. And that was the very beginning of the total transformation of my whole existence. 

And you know what? My body suddenly began to change, and I didn't change any eating habits, I didn't start exercising. It just started to grow beautiful. Since then, I am diving deeper and deeper into the ocean of unconditional love and this is a truly sensual experience. Every day I discover a new part of me and I fall in love with myself on a deeper level. It is wonderful to feel so good in my body now. 

As for me, this photo could be uncensored, but I don't know if the internet can handle it. ;)

Love Yourself <3

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